That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
