Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
no, he came in my armpit
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
