U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
