Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
