plz talk dirty to me
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
