My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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