My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
