I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
