Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
