I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
