So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize