I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
