girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
