Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Also, beer. Big fan.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
