He asked to "fluff my boner.."
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
