And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
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