Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
