physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
