He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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