they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Fuck appropriateness.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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