We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sext me about skeletons
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
