There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
