I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
