He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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