I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
