Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
