If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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