i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
