I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
