Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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