There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
