Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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