His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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