whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
