I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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