I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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