Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
