toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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