my vag is so smooth its legendary
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We are all done wearing pants today
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