Just fell off a train. Bad.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
