Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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