a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize