so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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