someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
