That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dick very happy bro
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
