I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
