He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
