I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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