the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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