3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
