This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You can't just leave with hair like that
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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