There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
