Fuck appropriateness.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
