Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
