You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
A bitchslap is in order.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
