I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
