ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The struggles of a small town man whore
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
