I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
