I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
