Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
