im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
